Sometimes I feel like that I am sooo ready to settle down get a wife and may be even end up getting a pet. But then there are times when I realize that I am soo not ready. Not to mention the times that I realize that I’m just confused.
Last night, for example, was great! I had a lovely time at Compound dancing with a bunch of girls and even dancing with two at a time, but now.. I’m sitting here feeling lonely regardless of the fact that I just came back from my friend’s after watching Superbowl comercials. Not to mention that it is time for bed anyways since I have work tomorrow. It’s just weird. It really is. Specially as I put more and more friends from my non-married list to the married list and as I move some from married list to the married with kiddies list.
I know I’m getting old by the second, but am I really that old?
Its been my experience that loneliness is not a disease to be cured – its a state of mind. Using marriage to cure loneliness is like using band-aid on a fracture. It might hide the problem but wont fix it. If you start with the assumption that everyone else in the world (i.e. married friends) is not lonely then you will of course feel down and might feel that’s a way out. Its very easy to look at people from the outside and draw the wrong conclusions. People see others smiling and laughing and never get to see the sad and depressed side. You’ll never see the moments alone that person spends or read their thoughts when they are down. So when you see others, remember that you are seeing only one small piece of the person. It might help you gain perspective.
There’s nothing wrong with getting married of course. But the reasons have got to be pure. You can’t use it to “fix” some thing. I view it more like something you do when you are ready and mature enough to experience the next phase in your life.
The pet on the other hand is a great answer. Learning to care for a pet is a great feeling. I would love to have a puppy right now. It feels great to go and play with them at the shelter – but I feel sad that I can’t own one right now.
Also – you have friends ( I know at least 5 losers – moi included – on the top of my head lol
) that you can have fun with. So chillax buddy!
And the age thing – dude! I gotta call you on that one. YOU ARE NOT OLD!!! DAMN YOU!! you are barely an adult
just j/k’in
Well – I hope that helped. God knows I’m no expert on the matter. But I’m learning!!
I think it’s easy to be lonely in city where you don’t have a close society. I mean not knowing your neighbors or just being able to know people at the local shops. I never run into someone I know like I used to at home. I know to some extent for me I think it would be nice to be closer to family and family friends I have known my whole life. Somehow they offer something you can’t get any other way.
Of course I am sort of a recluse at times and bury myself in stuff that keeps me busy. I think I miss college sometimes because I was part of a close society. People with similar interests, proximity, and a general identification with everyone around.
I’m also certainly no expert on this stuff. Marriage scares me. I know I’m getting older and I must admit there would be some comfort in “settling down”, but we are all young and in no rush. A lot of people(professionals especially) wait until their mid-thirties over here (in the USA). At least you recognize that you are confused. A lot of people don’t stop to think and that introspection and retrospection will hopefully help you make the right decisions, cause no one else really can.
OK… I am here to offer a completely different perspective — on multiple accounts… I am married, and I am definitely one to say that marriage is what you make of it… Some people I know act like being married is being “tied down,” but Jay and I work to help each other with goals and stuff, instead of just holding each other back… As long as you have the same lifestyle and life goals, marriage is wonderful! I am also a mommy, and some days are better than others where that is concerned… Today, for example, I am trying to figure out whether the baby needs a completely different schedule than the one we have been working with… I mean, for the past couple of weeks he keeps waking up at about 3am and won’t go back to sleep for about an hour… He used to sleep through the night, damnit! Bah! I love him more than anything in the world, and I would not want my life to have turned out any differently, but momentary setbacks still suck… Lastly, I am a loving mother to two kitties, and I would highly recommend that to anyone… Cats are the perfect first pet — because they are pretty easily litter trained, fun to pet and play with, and can be left home alone for like an entire weekend if need be (with a clean litter box and plenty of food and water, that is)… Hope you get what you want out of this advice… Hope to hear that things are looking up!
Is it ok to agree to all of you? Aj, I agree that I’m not that old and that pets are awesome. But I have to say that you got me wrong if you are thinking that I’m considering marraige as a way out of loneliness. Marriage was just an example, I’m scared to get into a serious relationship. There’s a reason I don’t get a grils number when they dance with me.
Jeff, I know exactly what you are talking about.. specially growing up in a neighbourhood exactly like you explained. It’s almost amazing when one night I went to Walmart and my uncle just walked up to me becuz he was shoping at that hour too. Or like this Saturday when I went to Compound and bumped into a fellow WREKage host.
Chrissie, I agree that marriage is what you make out of it and the couple decides how it happens, but you see that’s what scares me! I don’t want to make a wrong pick. And that’s why it takes me ages to even make the first move on a girl that I already like. It’s crazy!
But thanx for your input guys!
saud man, don’t ask for a girls number… just give them urs! carry a velvet pen (or pink if u prefer) and write in on their hand
. why? well, girls get asked for their phone number all the time but how many guys do they know who leave their number instead? u will stand out from the countless men they have danced w/. does it work.. heh, dunno.. i end up kissing their neck while i am dancing. and so begins the foreplay… *wink*
as for the age problem… its a state of mind. just like loniless, happiness, orgasm, etc. u r young as long as u think u r.
much love bro.